Baseball is a game that is dead on the diamond. There is no future for the game because hipsters in the millennial generation do not see the point in wasting hours at the ball park. They have no respect for the game’s history and they cannot imagine taking time out to watch a man hit a ball with a bat. They are the techie group who prefer indoor video games to outdoor adventures at the ball park. They just have no respect for American tradition, and unfortunately, baseball is the first of the traditions to go.

They have purchased all of the ball parks and intend to revamp them into cultural centers worthy of their time. Plans are in the works for the concession stands to become coffee bars, and poetry readings will be held under the bright stadium lights. There will not be any national anthems sung nor any players hanging out in the dugouts. It is official that baseball is dead. The commissioner has resigned and the league has dissolved. It is unlikely that the sport can be revitalized now that the hipsters have taken over the venues across the nation.

The Ball Park Sits Empty

Cincinnati Reds v Miami MarlinsSOURCE

This ball park is just a sample of how the ballparks look across America. The hipsters have finally found a way to shut down the lengthy games that the uncouth seemed to enjoy while eating hotdogs and popcorn. There is no doubt about it; the hipsters are sucking the fun out of America’s traditions. They have no regard for America’s game, and they have successfully shut down the ball parks because they refuse to attend. And, they gathered together as a coalition and pitched in to buy the baseball parks so that they could shut them all down. They saw it as a waste of electricity and energy resources that could be used elsewhere. As the older population ages and dies off, the hipsters have taken control of the venues. They intend to host parties and concerts at this former ball park.

Hotdogs have been the staple at ballparks for decades. With the closure of ballparks, hotdog revenue sharing will be at an all-time low. This crash will be the worst that the stock brokers have seen since the 1920s. Hotdogs and ballparks are big business cash cows, but hipsters have butchered the prize bulls by closing down the bullpens.